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It's not okay to forgive when the trauma is ongoing or the person is still an active threat, especially if you're suffering from PTSD or childhood abuse; however, some neurological conditions, like hyperactivity of the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), can make forgiveness challenging. Forgiveness is ultimately a personal choice that empowers you to regain control and release negative emotions, potentially reducing activity in the amygdala and increasing activity in the ventral striatum. Forgiveness isn't about condoning or forgetting the offense but about healing yourself and moving forward without letting the past control your present, notes Inc.com and the Mayo Clinic.

When Not to Forgive

Ongoing Threat: When you are still being harmed or the perpetrator is an active, ongoing threat, forgiveness should not be a priority. Persistent Trauma: If you are still experiencing the effects of the trauma, such as PTSD or severe emotional distress, you may not be in a state to forgive.

Suppressed Anger: Forcing reconciliation when you are still angry or hurt can lead to issues like chronic fatigue, increased stress hormones, and other physical problems due to overactivity in the brain's conflict mediator, the ACC, according to Emotions Therapy Calgary.

Neurological Factors Affecting Forgiveness ACC Hyperactivity: For some, particularly in high-forgiveness cultures, there can be an overactive ACC, which may contribute to symptoms like migraines and digestive issues. Brain Structures: The tendency to forgive is linked to brain regions involved in cognitive control and mentalizing, such as the lateral prefrontal cortex (PFC), medial prefrontal cortex (mPFC), and temporoparietal junction (TPJ).

The Neuroscience of Forgiveness: Reduces Negative Emotions: Forgiving can decrease activity in the amygdala, reducing fear, anger, and anxiety, while increasing activity in the ventral striatum, which is associated with positive emotions and rewards. Regaining ControForgiveness is about reclaiming your power and choosing to focus on what brings you peace, rather than remaining a victim of past wrongs. Social Connection: Forgiving also activates brain pathways that improve resilience and social connection, allowing you to move forward with greater energy and motivation, notes Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life.